Day 30 - FINISHED!!!! Success!!!!

I have finally finished the 30 day shred!  Yay!!!  I am so happy!  I consider this a success regardless of how much weight or how many inches I've lost because of the fact that I actually finished it.  Granted, it did take me 33 days instead of 30 days to do this, there were many more times when I wanted to skip working out, but toughed it out more times than not.  I am just happy to know that I completed something.
This last week was the most challenging for me.  With Halloween a little more than a week ago and lots of left over candy in this house, I have been snacking a lot.  Perhaps more than I should.  But I have tried to restrain myself and I think that I've succeeded to a certain degree, in that I haven't regressed to my previous levels.  I think that I have learned a certain degree of control.  I just have to remember to listen to the little voice in my head that I used to ignore so often.
So what is next?  Continuing to exercise, but not to the degree that I have been doing.  In other words, giving myself a day off.  I have two other Jillian Michaels DVDs (I got the triple pack on sale at Walmart), Yoga Meltdown and her Boost your Metabolism dvds, so I'm going to try those on the days when I don't feel like going to the gym.  The biggest challenge will be exercising on days that I work because I that is when I tend to try to convince myself not to.  Thank goodness for 24 hr gyms!
Well, I'll take my measurements tomorrow to see how I've done and give my final thoughts on the Shred.

Day 29 - skipped a workout

Yeah, so today should have been day 30, but I skipped out on my workout last night and I slept in instead of waking up, when my alarm went off, to exercise.  Fortunately, I did manage to do my workout this evening and I felt like I gave it more effort than I did when I did my workout in the morning.  I'm just not the most alert person in the morning.  I don't really like to speak for a while and I am pretty sluggish for at least a half an hour.  I tend to feel energized at night.  What can I say?  I'm a night owl.
Today I had one of those ah ha moments, as Oprah calls them.  I like to buy underwear, so therefore I have a lot of them (you can never have too many), but, in the past, quite a few no longer fit and were too small (became thongs when they originally weren't) for me.  I had tossed most of the small ones out, but I kept a couple old favourites.  So today I decided to wear one of the small ones, mainly because I didn't feel like wearing the ones I had in my drawer and the other ones that really fit well were in my laundry basket.  Let me just say that after a few hours I did not have the perpetual wedgie that I used to get with this pair.  Instead they provided waaay better coverage than they had a few months ago.  That is not to say that it is as full coverage as most of my newer ones, but it covers more of my butt than it had before, which makes me very happy! :)
That reminds me.  During Level 3 of the Shred, Jillian gets you to do what she calls Rockstar jumps during the third cardio circuit, and let me tell you that those are so uncomfortable if you have a jiggly butt.  It kind of reminds me of jumping up and down repeatedly with no bra on.  I almost want to grab my butt cheeks with each jump, so I never end up doing the jumps as well as I could.  I guess I'm just bootylicious;)

Day 28 - Back is so sore

Ahh the beloved time change.  I love when we fall back.  That extra hour is so precious.  Well when I came home from a night of fun and adventure I did not exercise and when I woke up this morning I was very tempted not to workout.   I even changed my alarm time so that I could sleep some more.  In the end I decided to use that half hour where I normally dilly dally to exercise.  I was all prepared to use the excuse that my back is so sore (either my bed or I'm pmsing - which might explain the snacking), but in the end I forced myself to workout and I am glad that I did.  I don't know how this week's final weigh in will go, but it will be okay because when the 30 days is up this definitely isn't the end of my exercise regime.

Day 27 - not enough sleep

Don't you hate it when you don't get enough sleep.  It is entirely my fault though.  I went to bed way too late when I knew that I'd have to wake up early.  I think that I turned off my alarm three times before finally dragging myself out of bed with just enough time to do everything I needed before going to work.  Normally I like to give myself time to slug around and gradually wake up, but this morning there was none of that.  Unfortunately I will have yet another night of limited sleep since I have to wake up much earlier than I normally would, but that couldn't be helped.  That is okay though.  I have the day off and after my appointment the rest of the day is mine to do as I see fit, which will be nice.  I plan on taking tomorrow in stride and just being happy to enjoy the outdoors, even if it is colder than usual out.  Nothing like crisp air to help put things in perspective.
As for my workout, it went as it normally does, which was well.  My snacking habits haven't been too great because everyone is bringing in their halloween candy from home because they either had extras or don't want their kids to eat it.  Don't they know that the eating habits of shift workers is bad enough as it is?  Oh the temptation.  I did have a lot less than I did the previous two days though.  Well I better head to bed if I want to wake up without bags under my eyes.  Bonsoir!

Day 26 - Damn you, Halloween candy!

So I've been snacking again on Halloween candy and boy, oh boy, is it dangerous.  I really need to stop.  I think it'll be easier now that my days off are over.  I should pack my lunch for tomorrow after this.  I made a pasta and spinach bake.  There was recipe in this magazine that my sister bought so I thought that I'd try it out.  It is pretty good, but the old me would normally prefer more cheese since cheese, especially old cheddar, is an old love.
As for my workout, it is complete.  Another sweaty and fulfilling day.  Travelling pushups and planks nearly knock me out every time.

Day 25 - oh the Halloween candy

With Halloween having been this past Sunday a lot of the Halloween candy has gone on sale.  Can you say temptation?  I have been snacking on it most of the day, which is sooo bad.  That old saying of Lays "betcha can't eat just one" totally applies to me with twix or snickers bars.  Oh so delicious and oh so bad.  I think with it being small it is even worse because you can kind of trick yourself into thinking, oh I only had three and that isn't even one Twix/Snickers bar.  *sigh*

In other news, I took a nap this evening....completely unintentionally.  My friend sent me a text message around 9pm and I didn't realize that I had even fallen asleep.  I was so tempted to go back to sleep and I probably would have if we hadn't been talking for so long.  There was also the temptation to skip my workout tonight.  Today the temptation was stronger than usual, I blame the Halloween candy.  Fortunately I toughed it out and forced myself to workout.  In the end I'm glad that I did.   Five more days of the 30 days shred.  I think that I'm going to start planning my workout schedule because I need routine.  If I don't I'll fall off the bandwagon.  I think the worse part is when you have workout out so hard, spend hours of training, grimacing, sweating and suffering and then you gain it all back or more.  That has happened to me a few times and it was never a pleasant feeling.  Back then, it signalled the end of my once great metabolism. Now, it means the beginning of living healthier.  I want to be one of those 90 year olds who is still mobile and who has their wits about them.  That'd be nice.

Day 24 - Still going strong

Just finished working out at Level 3 and it was great!  Worked up a sweat, suffered through some of the exercises, but all in all I am happy that I completed it.  I have been to walmart a few times to see if I could pick up another water bottle similar to the one I got there a few months ago and they don't carry it anymore.  It really sucks because the loop part broke off on my old one and I love that bottle.  I guess that is why they don't carry it anymore.  I really need to start drinking more fluids.  I have noticed how bad it is getting because my eczema (self diagnosed) is back with a vengeance.  It doesn't help that where I work is also crazy dry, but I am not helping the situation by the low amount of fluids I am taking in.  So I think I'll make a conscious effort to fill up my old water bottle, which happens to hold a lot of water, and try to drink it all by the end of each day.  I guess I'll be running to the washroom a lot, but it'll also help flush out my system and clear up my eczema.

It's Holly

In other news, I think that I am actually going to take a little more care and effort in getting dressed and fixing myself up these days.  I don't think that I'm ready to make it to the stage of wearing makeup (I never wear any, so when I do even if it is only eyeliner, I feel overdone), but I've been trying to make myself look more presentable.  My uniform of choice tends to be jeans, tshirt with a hoodie.  Oh so comfortable.  Not much to think about in terms of what to wear.  So I plan on making some small steps, step one getting rid of stuff that I don't/won't wear.  I guess there is a closet that I need to clean out.

Checking In - making some progress

Checking in.....
As promised, although somewhat delayed, here are my measurements for today:


waist: Oct 15/10 - 33.5 inches; Now: 30 inches
hips: Oct 15/10 - 42 inches; Now:  41 inches
thighs: Oct 15/10 - 25 inches; Now: 23.5 inches
chest: Oct 15/10 - 35.5 inches; Now: 34 inches
arms: Oct 15/10 - 10.5 inches; Now: 10 inches
weight: Oct 23/10 - 155.2 lbs; Now: 152.8 lbs


Yay!  All that suffering through levels 2 and 3 is paying off.  This is motivating to keep going.  I think that I'll do Level 3 again tonight.

Day 23 - Level 3, take 2!

TheCulinaryGeek

So I decided to try level 3 again today and while it was a crazy workout, I feel like I can do it again and get something out of it, unlike my first attempt.  So here I am sweaty, but pleased:)  Today I didn't put as much of an effort into eating as healthy as I normally do because...well it was Halloween yesterday and I have nieces and nephews.  So guess who got to enjoy some of their candy.  Yeah, that's right I had more than a couple.  I didn't quite binge, what I had may amount to about a chocolate bar and a half, but I did have that familiar feeling of being close to inhaling everything in sight.  Fortunately I managed to restrain myself a little.  Hopefully when I wake up tomorrow I'll actually remember to take my measurements in time for check in.  Till then I guess.

Day 22- Delayed post

I forgot to post that yes, I did do my workout last night, but I opted to go back to Level 2 because I felt like I was working harder.  I haven't decided whether or not I'm going to do Level 3 tonight or Level 2.  Maybe I'll try to alternate between the different days because afterall, I only have eight more to go before I've hit the 30 days.

Day 21 - Level 3 is CRAZY! Happy All Hallows Eve:)

So I decided to shake things up and try level three for the next ten days and it is ridiculous!  It makes sense considering that it is the highest level, but I don't think that I got as good a workout as I was supposed to because I spent much of the time mastering how to do the moves.  Even with that I was feeling the crazy burn.  I have a friend who loves the burn and sometimes I try to tell myself I also like the burn (it is all about the denial), but I can't fake it with this.  So yeah, level three is a lot harder than I had anticipated and sadly I'm still following Anita (the person she tells beginners to follow - she modifies the moves so that it isn't as hard on your joints or as hard to do).  I say sadly because ideally I'd like to be following Natalie (the pro), but realistically I think that I can only follow Natalie 35% of the time, and even that might be pushing it.  But oh well, I'll still continue to try my best.
I didn't measure myself yesterday because I didn't have enough time.  I'm going to try to do it later today when I wake up.  I'll have to start making a plan for as to how I'm going to continue to exercise.  I really do need to hop back on a treadmill or go outside because the other day when I had to run for the train (I was willing to wait for the next one but it was late and my friend wanted to catch the one that was there) my throat was burning.  You know the burn that lingers for a few minutes later and where you kind of get that taste of blood or iron at the back of your throat.  Sounds really bad, but my friend said the same thing happened to her.  Running with just the clothes on your back and light running shoes is one thing, running with bags and heavy boots is another.  Even so, I don't have nearly as much stamina for that kind of cardio as I would like.  Something to add to my list.

Plutor

Happy Halloween!   This used to be one of my favourite holidays.  In a way it still is, but it isn't the same as when you were a kid.  It was so much fun!  Dressing up, getting candy, being up past your bedtime.  Oh and I will forever love how all the stations play Halloween movies and themed shows.  It is great!  I guess tomorrow the Christmas music will start to play and all the stores will be decorated if they aren't already.  Let the madness begin!  On the upside, Halloween candy should be dirt cheap.  I don't plan on going crazy over Halloween candy though.  I have my priorities;)

Day 20 - noticing change

So I did my workout last night and it went well as usual.  There I was collapsed and sweaty on my mat as usual.  One note that I guess I should make was the fact that a friend from work said "I feel like you are shrinking".  So yay!

Ahh I thought that it was day 19, but apparently it is day 20!  Crazy how fast time flies.  Only 10 days left in this experiment, but I am going to continue to workout.  Maybe not every day like today and not necessarily to the Shred video, but I will exercise.  Someone was telling me earlier that exercising can be addictive and I think that I got a taste of that earlier this year, but I definitely wouldn't say that I'm addicted to Jillian's regime.  No way!  Too hard!  Sometimes...most times it feels like I am suffering.  So yeah, after day 30 I'm going to find some other methods as well.  If only I'd suck it up and go for a run outside.  I used to run on the treadmill, but I have maybe a month and a half before the first snow fall.  It would be nice to take advantage of it.

As for measurements....well I will get to that soon.

Day 19 - Not much to report

So today was another day of collapsing on my yoga mat after my workout.  So yay to day 18 being done!  I think that I'm going to start wearing capris.  My pants feel like they have too much fabric when I am working out.   Otherwise there isn't much to report.  I didn't do much today.  No long walks anywhere, just sleep, work and home.  With Halloween coming up on Sunday it is so tempting to go buy tons of candy the day after when it all goes on sale.  We shall see how it goes.

Day 18 - Oh precious sleep, how I love thee

So I am working late this week and on my way home I kept thinking about how it would be nice to be able to go straight to bed from work.  So tempting, but I knew that I still needed to do my workout.  After half an hour of milling about I finally decided to press play.  Sadly, I started to think about how many more days I have left of this shred (12 to go) and, I must be honest, I am pretty excited.  It is more about not having to do this every day....and therefore being able to come home and be lazy and go straight to sleep.  I don't know how many inches or pounds I'll lose or muscle I'll gain but it has been enlightening.  I've been checking other blogs of other people who have done it for some encouragement or to know what to expect and I noticed that a few people said they advise incorporating more cardio.  But all I can think of is that that is more work:(  It is nice in theory but I love sleep.  But I just have to remind myself of how good it will feel to fit into my old clothes and not have to rotate between a few pairs of pants that still fit me or worrying when I go out what I should wear that fits and that looks good.  I have so few options because I refuse, unlike that lady from What Not to Wear advises, to buy new clothing one size bigger.  I just won't buy new pants until I can at least fit into my old ones.  I don't know I just feel like if I bought them, not only would it be incredibly depressing, but it would feel like I was giving in.  It'd be easier for me to accept the fact that I was letting myself go and to me that just isn't an option.

Day 17 - Great day! I love those:)

Checking in.....
Today's workout was still difficult, but it wasn't as bad as when I first started Level 2.  I don't think that my body temperature has ever felt this hot while exercising.  Jillian is crazy, but good.  The little things she says throughout the video are encouraging.  At one point she says that if you want to see change then you have to give it your all.  She's right.  It is often so tempting to just go through the motions at 30%.  The only problem with that is that you are only cheating yourself.  I guess we'll see how I've been doing when it comes up time for my weekly measurements.

ilya_ktsn

In addition to working out to Jillian, I went for a nice long walk in the forest for about 2 hrs.  It came in handy because I had some Kimchi (fermented spicy cabbage) and Tofu soup and Bimimbap (has veggies, egg, rice and a meat/seafood - I had beef) for an early dinner.  Fortunately, I split it with a friend because it was very filling, so we took our time eating it.  Overall I'd have to say that it is pretty healthy.  I love Korean food.  It is so delicious!  We decided to avoid the Korean BBQ, which is mouthwatering, but not necessarily as healthy.  I did cheat and have a cinnabon for dessert later on, but I was proud of myself for opting for the mini one instead of the big cinnabon, which is what I would previously have done.  So that is definitely something!
I've been buying those 100 calories bags of Smartfood popcorn in order to cut my chip/junk food cravings.  The small bags and the limited amount of calories has helped me combat my usual need to consume a big bag of chips.  I realize more and more that if this is going to be a lifestyle change I need to come up with ways to avoid relapsing into binge eating big bags of chips.  I think that this may be a way.  It is funny how they keep talking about moderation, but it is the exercising control part, at least for me, that, I think, will lead to moderation.

Day 16 - Sore feet and sweaty shirt

Tonight was another night of "OMG I don't think that I'm going to make it" and "is this workout over yet?"  So I guess that is a good thing.  I'm all sweaty and smelly, fortunately it is only me smelling it, but still.  

Today I did a lot of walking.  I walked all over downtown Toronto and even walked around Toronto Island.  My feet were so sore by the end of it.  I treated myself to some delicious Tibetan food (Dalai Lama is in Toronto and they had this article on best Tibetan restaurants in the city).  It was incredible!!!  We had this Hot and Sour Soup, a little Pad Thai and Beef Momo (Tibetan dumplings...I only had two).  If you ever get a chance, try it out.  Delicious!  Tibetan food was never something I had ever considered or not considered trying.  Fortunately I have adventurous friends who like trying different food from different cultures.  So glad we discovered that hole in the wall.  Definitely worth it!

Anyhoo, tomorrow will be another fun filled day of walking and exploring.  This time I am going to wear sneakers!

Day 15 - OMG Level 2 is no joke!

So I finally got 2lbs weights from the store (I got 5 lbs weights but quickly realized I was dreaming, so I was using cans for the past few days) and they are so much better than the cans!  2lbs weights made the workout more challenging for sure, so it was a worthwhile purchase.  I also knew that once I bought them I could finally start Level 2, which I did.  OMG did I suffer through that cycle!  It is no joke for sure!  There is definitely nothing easy about Level 2 at all!  At one point Jillian says something like you probably think I'm crazy and people say it all the time and yeah, that was exactly what I was thinking.  At the end of the workout I was flopped on my mat in exhaustion.  Despite the suffering, the burning and the exhaustion, I am very pleased with Level 2.  I think that there will definitely be some big changes if I continue to give it my all, eat healthy and do it every day.

Andrea Rinaldi

As for my eating habits, well today was pretty challenging.  I had some pretty bad food over the past 24 hours.  I went to a baby shower, so I had some cake (a small piece), a samosa and a couple other breaded miniature meat patty things and a couple mini quiches.  All of which were delicious.  Also, I wanted to do some experimenting so I made butter chicken, but I used Becel instead and used low fat yogurt and half and half cream (1/4 cup).  Over the past 24 hrs I had two servings.  On top of that I also caved when I was out with friends and had a slice of pizza (it had mushrooms on it - but also some bad stuff) because I made the mistake of not eating any dinner before I left.  I was making the butter chicken that night and was rushing to get ready while I finished cooking.  Very bad.  I tried to hold off for the longest while, but the smell was overpowering and I was starving.  Figures.  Oh well.  Lesson learned.  Always eat before going out because you're less likely to cave and eat bad stuff.  I'm supposed to go out with a friend from out of town over the next few days, show them around etc, so it will be a challenge, but I plan on enjoying myself.  Fortunately we'll be doing a lot of walking, but I'll still try not to over indulge.  As Jillian said in Level 2, I just have to think of going jean shopping or swimsuit shopping.  We all know how depressing that can be.  Speaking of which, I have to find an outfit to wear for my cousin's post wedding wedding reception, for those who couldn't make it to the destination wedding.  I have to check out my closet to see what I have.  Hopefully by the time Christmas rolls around I'll be able to fit into one of my old dresses from days gone by instead of having to buy something.  That would be nice.

Day 14 - not giving 100% and some whining

So I finished my workout for day 14, but I definitely didn't give it my all.  I'd like to blame my cold and sure it is partially that and my being tired, but really if I want to see change I have to shape up.  I sweat a little, but not as much as I could.  I definitely have to work on some of my form.  I think that I was also really distracted.  I have so much to do over the next few days that it won't even feel like I have days off.  I really have to learn how to say no to people so that I can get a break, but then again most of the time I just sit on my butt and do nothing so I guess it is nice to get out there.  What can I say, I'm Canadian and we like to complain?  Yeah, that's right, I said it:)  And it is true.  What I mean to say is that not too long ago I was complaining about how I don't really have a life anymore and that my job is destroying my social life.  Now that I have plans all the time, I am complaining that I don't have enough time to myself.  That old saying about being careful what you wish for is true.  It is not to say that I don't want to go to functions etc, but I would like one day to myself to do whatever I want.  Having no plans can be a lot of fun, so long as you are able to make plans with others when you want.  I need to stop complaining and start living --- and putting more effort into my workouts.

Measurements after 13 days on the Shred

In terms of inches lost - I stayed the same, which to me is better than gaining.  In overall pounds lost here's my present weight:

Weight : Last week  - 155.2 lbs  This week: 154.6 lbs  

Hooray!  I really am trekking along!  I am so happy!  Now, I must continue:)  

Day 13 - Lucky #13

Not much to say other than it went well.  Trekking along as usual.  Doing the late night exercise thing which seems to be working well enough, but I think that my body might be getting used to this routine.  So again, need to shake it up.

sivart13

In other news, I'm thinking about making Butter Chicken.  The only problem is that Butter Chicken isn't exactly healthy.  I was also looking up recipes for Caramel Cinnamon Swirl Coffee Cake at Starbucks that I haven't had in, what feels like, forever and Apple Fritters.  I think this is my minds way of coping with this whole eating healthy thing.  Maybe I can figure out a way of making these recipes healthier.  Is it a stretch?  It would be just such a waste.  Oh why must bad stuff taste soooo good?

Day 12 - Weird sounds

Day 12 - check!  Completed!

sunshinecity

I worked out at Level 1 again and I think I really need to get to Level 2.  Today definitely wasn't the day to go to level 2 though.  When I was doing jumping jax or doing jumping of any sort my stomach started making really strange sounds (it also felt really strange).  Actually, it reminded me of liquid jiggling around in there, but I'm pretty sure it was mostly air (my body still isn't used to all of those greens).   Throughout most of my workout I wasn't really functioning at my full potential, which was unfortunate.  I was pretty wiped out from work and battling this cold.  Why must colds be worse at night? When you want to sleep that is when your nose decides to become stuffed or decides to run.  All day long I've felt like my eyes are only partially open.  Hopefully I'll feel better when I wake up in the morning.  If not, it's more peppermint and ginger tea for me.

Day 11 - fighting a cold

Lucky number 11 is here, yay!  My workout went well today.  Really well actually.  I decided to stick to my working out after I come home.  The whole notion of being able to sleep after a workout is fantastic, to me.  What I need to work on now is the fact that I'm hungry when I finish work at 3am or 4am and often want something salty.  Today I just had a couple strawberries and some crystal light lemonade in order to cut the cravings.  Small steps.  This is definitely better than going through McDonald's drivethru, which was my old routine.  My poison of choice?  Combo #1 (Big Mac), with Large fries, Water (me being healthy - fooling myself was more like it), ketchup and three or more packets of McChicken Sauce (aka Mayo to the rest of the world).  I would mix two packets of ketchup with one packet of McChicken Sauce and make "special sauce" so that I could dip my fries (delicious).  I used to dream of the fries and the "special sauce".  That alone had me going to the drivethru at all hours of the night.  Then, when I was done eating it all, I would try to hide the evidence.  I would shift things around in the garbage, put it in the big garbage bag in the garage instead of the kitchen garbage, hide the wrappers in my car and/or under my bed (used to do this with chips bags as well... it started when I was a preteen).  All of this was done in order for others not to realize how much crap I ate and to convince myself that I didn't have a problem.  But to me that is a sign of a problem when you are almost always hiding the evidence.  Then I'd feel bad because I had to hide it and I knew why I was hiding it.  I guess we can only learn from our mistakes and move on.  That is the challenge.  Well that and not letting this cold that I feel coming on take a hold of me.  Here's to battling on!

Day 10 - trekking along

Checking in...

Day 10 is down in the books.  Just completed my workout at level 1 and it went well.  There are still parts where I struggle (lunges grrr and here I thought I had balance), but overall it isn't as bad as it was the first time I did it.  I definitely need to add some other exercises to my regime though.  Not sure what I will do, but I will let you know after it has been done.  Since I just measured myself on Saturday and I not going to measure and weigh myself until Saturday.  It should be interesting to see where I am at.  I don't expect a big loss, but it'd be nice to see that I'm still progressing.
Anyhoo.....as usual, I'm still looking for good healthy recipes in order to mix up what I eat.  I get so bored with so called healthy foods that I need to spice it up.  I wonder if stir fry is good for you.  I love the stuff.  I normally put about 2 tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil in my wok, whatever meat or seafood I feel like at the time, a bunch of spices, a variety of veggies and then some vermicelli rice noodles.  Sounds healthy right?  Or does the whole frying it up in a wok ruin the healthy factor?

Day 9...errr...10...errr...11?

D Sharon Pruitt

Yeah, so I missed this weekend completely!  I guess it should be no real surprise, but it kind of was for me because I normally don't have so much going on.  In a way, I suppose I can say that I exercised on both days (Saturday and Sunday) because on Saturday I danced the night away and hobbled home thanks to my hot new shoes.  On Sunday I spent my evening traipsing through a Halloween themed amusement park and, once again, hobbled home (different shoes).  My feet never fully recovered from breaking in those new shoes on Friday and Saturday.  The sad part was that I actually got in soles for them on Saturday, but I didn't put it on the balls of my feet, which was where it was painful.  I suppose these are excuses for not exercising, but to be honest, Saturday I really did contemplate it, but the pain was too real and it was late.  As for Sunday, well.... I didn't even bother.  I mean I thought about working out, but quickly dismissed the idea in favour of defrosting under my covers.  Again, I could have done my workout in the afternoon, but I kept making excuses to myself about taking a nap on Sunday, which I did briefly, and running errands on Saturday, which I also did and took up far more time than I'd have liked.  So now I find myself two days behind schedule.  Also, by the time this is posted it is technically Tuesday, but really I started writing this on Monday, in case there is any confusion about being two days behind.
So what to do?

Cameron Casson

Resume.  I worked out tonight at Level 1.  I was going to start Level 2 on Day 9, but I am going to postpone it for a few days and just go for it when I am ready.  I find that when I plan things, I feel like there is so much pressure.  It kind of reminds me of school and being forced to make deadlines.  As so many people have told me, you have to be ready.  I think that I need a happy medium between the two.  Either way I guess I will pick up where I started.  I shall call this Day 9 of the Shred since technically that is the day I am on.  I must say though that I ate well this weekend.  Aside from drinking a ginger ale on Friday night, I had salad and salmon at the dinner on Saturday and didn't bother with the potato and on Sunday....wow Sunday was the ultimate of all temptations.  I resisted funnel cake AND a chip shop!  Yes, that is right, I, the chipaholic, resisted the chippery.  How did I miss this place when I was at this same theme park in the summer?!?!?!  I was pretty much standing right beside it and never really checked it out when I was there.  When I first saw the name of the place on Sunday it looked vaguely familiar, but I had assumed that it was some British place that sells fries, but no, oh no, they make fresh potato chips there in a whole bunch of flavours.  You even get to see them be made AND they are served HOT!  I must confess that amongst the three people who offered me, I said yes to one chip from one person and said no to offers of more.  The restraint I exercised even impressed me.  I was near salivating.  Oh and the funnel cake.  There are so few times that I actually get to have funnel cake....real funnel cake!  I watched people leave the shops with their big plates of funnel cake, strawberries and ice cream and told myself I could have one next summer.   There were a lot of temptations at the amusement park, but fortunately I didn't crumble.  I did do a lot of walking though and had fun.  So I'm happy about that.  I'm also happy to say that at the end of the night I didn't have any of those familiar feelings of guilt and disappointment that I normally have after overindulging in one of my favourite foods.

Day 8 - Program delays and toughing it out

So I just completed my workout at 2 in the morning.  I was soooo tempted to go to sleep and "make up" my workout when I wake up, but I knew that was as likely as me waking up early to go to the gym (not gonna happen - tried many times, but I turn off my alarm in my sleep).
The reason why I waited so late to do my session was because I was out dancing with a few friends.  I guess, technically, I did two workouts back to back.  The balls of my feet were killing me because I was breaking in a new pair of shoes.  Originally we were just supposed to go out for drinks, so I didn't think that we were gonna end up at a pub, but we did and ended up dancing because the dj was (just) okay.  When I got home I was debating whether or not to listen to the calls of my sweet sweet bed, but in the end I figured what was another half hour.  I'm glad I did because not only was the workout harder - sleepy, less balance so I needed more concentration, but I know that I can sleep easy tonight knowing that I did my workout.
Tomorrow I am going to start Level 2 - probably sometime in the afternoon.  I kind of snuck a peak at it and it looks quite challenging.  Guess I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow.  Right now my bed is calling me, so goodnight or goodmorning:)

Measurements after 1 week of Shred

So after one week of doing the shred here are my measurements:


Waist:  Last week - 34 inches  This week - 33.5 inches

Hips: Last week - 44 inches     This week - 42 inches

Chest: Last week - 36 inches    This week - 35.5 inches

Thighs: Last week - 25.75 inches  This week - 25 inches

Arms: Last week - 11 inches     This week - 10.5 inches

Weight : Last week - 159.4 lbs (with jeans etc)  This week - 155.2 lbs

YAY!!!  I'm very happy with the progress I've made.  But as happy as I am with the results I don't want to get complacent which is what tends to happen to me.  I just have to focus on staying strong, no binge eating (my poison is chips - big bags of chips and cupcakes) and keep on exercising.

Day 7 - late post

I know I'm late with my day 7 post, but day 7 was officially completed yesterday.  Overall I'd have to say it went well.  My energy levels are definitely higher than they were before, so I've definitely noticed a difference.  I'm still having trouble with lunges, especially with my right leg.  They are so tough!  Just have to tough it out and try to maintain my balance (so hard).  Food wise, I'd say that I am doing well.  I keep snacking every few hours, but I'm mostly having healthy stuff.  Tomorrow I'm going to a friend's birthday dinner so that will be interesting.  I've never really been cool with ordering a salad at a restaurant. I think that I've only ever ordered a salad once in my life, not including when you order a burger and they give you an option of burger with fries or salad.  Fortunately we're gonna go dancing after so that should help me burn some of the calories that I may put on.  But I guess I'll treat it as my treat day.  I just have to remember to be good the next day.
Well since I forgot to write about yesterday, today there are going to be three posts.  The next post will be up shortly.

Day 6 of Shred - Just squeaked in

I was so tempted to go to sleep without doing my workout today, but I toughed it out and just finished ten minutes ago.  The temptation to just go straight to bed was intense, but I've made too many excuses in the past so I know if I break my routine now I won't hop back on.  Also, it is a little harder to make up Day 6 when Day 6 is done.  

All in all, it was a good workout.  I worked up a sweat and I think that I'm going to sleep with less covers tonight because I'm so hot right now.

Catherine asked what my goals are for the coming week and I've decided to attend two gym classes over the next week.  I've been a member of this gym for a few years now and I've only ever been to one class.  The class that I went to was intense too, which was surprising because its name sounded so calming.  Boy, was I surprised when I finished the class with no water left and my clothes fully drenched in sweat!  I haven't gone to another class because I like to make excuses: too tired, too busy, too shy.  Shy, yes, because I tend to put to much weight in what others think sometimes.  As I said below, that is something I'll have to work on.  Well, my first class will either be tomorrow or Friday.  I haven't decided yet.  I'll keep you posted on how it turns out.

Bonsoir:)

Day 5 of Shred - Whipped

I don't know if it is the workout or the fact that I've been waking up at an obscene hour or maybe that I might be fighting off a cold that is going around my family, but I am exhausted!  I just finished my workout with Jillian...haha I say Jillian as if she is my personal trainer...well the video kind of is, but I'm getting off track.  So yeah, I just feel really tired right now.  I do tend to feel whipped and sleepy after working out, which is why I like to train at night or early so that I have enough time to pop in a nap after.  I wonder it is my body's way of saying give me some recover time.
Overall, I find that this is very challenging.  Not just the workouts, which kick my butt everyday, but also the healthy eating.  I just wish I knew more snacks to eat other than fruit.  I am sorry, but fruits can be sooo boring.  I went grocery shopping today and bought some strawberries, raspberries and blackberries so that i'd have something to snack on, but I know myself, I'll get bored of that in a few days.  I wish I knew recipes for healthy and delicious snacks.  As much as I love hummus, preferably in falafel, it just doesn't cut it for me.    Oh well.  I will have to do some research in that regard over the next few days.

Side note:  I saw this article about this person who put a McDonald's Happy Meal on a shelf six months ago and it was quite disturbing.  The Happy Meal didn't have any fungus on it.  The fries looked like cold fries, but that is it!  So surprising.  I'm expecting to hear that this is a hoax in a few days/weeks, but it definitely makes me think about what I am putting into my body whenever I eat McDonald's.  The really sad part about this is that my mind still strays to how good their food tastes.  Sad.  But I guess I'm still in food addiction recovery.  Always on my mind.  Every day is a battle, but it'll get better over time.

Day 4 of Shred - Lunges, Smunges

I say lunges, smunges (yes, I know it isn't a word, but it rhymes) because man, do I have a love-pain relationship with them.  The set in Level 1 of the Shred are tough in my opinion, but I suck at lunges.  Here are a few things that I have learned over the short period that I have had doing lunges:
1) I suck at them
2) They make my legs burn
3) I'm not really a fan of my legs burning
4) I know that the fact that my legs burning is good so I try to tough it out
5) Lastly....Doing lunges in your barefeet hurts your toes.
Despite all of the above, lunges are supposedly effective.  I, like so many, have dreamed of slim thighs that don't touch or at least that don't touch so much that the most worn part on all my pants isn't the inner thigh area.  Honestly, some of my pants feel like velvet in that area (jeans included).  I've even had to retire some pants because they've gotten holes there.  It also doesn't help that I'm not a fan of shopping.  Shopping for clothes and shoes can be frustrating.  It would be nice not to have to get my pants adjusted or a dress adjusted because nothing fits properly (I'm very much a pear).  But, oh well, that is my present reality.  As for shoes, for some reason shoe stores tend to only carry one or two pairs in my size (10 or 11 depending on the store).  Every time I go into this one store they always say that they can order my size for me, but I have to pay for them first.  I haven't even tried them on!  They say they'd do an exchange if it didn't fit or if I didn't like it, but that is too much hassle for me.  I don't want to buy a pair of shoes that I haven't tried.  This was also the same store where the salesperson told me that they only carry two pairs in my size and that she wears the same size as me.  Hint! Hint!  In other words, she nabs one before they even hit the shelves.  But whatever, I don't blame her!  C'est la vie!  Shoes are fun, but I am trying to be more fiscally responsible for the next little while.  Eating healthier should hopefully work to my advantage.  It mostly relies on me not eating out as much.
Anyway, I decided not to weigh myself until the morning of Day 8 because then it should be a whole week.  I will also bust out the measuring tape and take my measurements to see if there are any physical changes.  I have already noticed that climbing stairs aren't as hard as they were this time last week.  Yay for small steps!
As they say in Italy, Ciao! Ciao!

Day 3 of Shred - Working on Moderation. A definite work in progress

Day 3 is down yay!
Today I bought five pound weights from Walmart.  I picked up the two and three pound weights first and thought that those would be too easy, but how foolish I was.  I wish I had at least compromised on the three pound weights.  Some of the moves I couldn't even do with the five pound weights.  It was, oh, so sad.  I couldn't even lift the weights as high as my eyes with my arms fully extended in front of me.  Oh the burn.  My arms are pretty weak not to mention sore....well everywhere is sore.  Jillian is kicking my butt:)  Since tomorrow is Thanksgiving, Walmart and all the other stores will be closed, so I'm going to have to use a couple cans tomorrow and get the three pound weights on Tuesday.  Hopefully by the end of this I'll be able to use the five pound weights again.  I just don't want to strain anything.

Food wise, I cheated.  Here's the run down of the bad stuff:  I ate a couple (15, yes I counted) smarties (which are like m&m's but smaller for those who don't know what they are) , one oatmeal raisin spice cookie and two mini samosas.  However, I did eat well today.  Plenty of bran flakes, yogurt, eggs, salad, a little basmati rice and some canned salmon.  I also declined an invite to go out to eat tonight.  I figure what is the point of eating out when I'll only be tempted to eat bad stuff and at this stage I think it would be too much temptation for me.  Maybe in a few weeks when I have more will power.  Instead I stayed home and made curry chicken, which was delicious.  Tomorrow's lunch is going to be great!  Don't you just love that feeling?  You know, the one where you are excited about what you're going to eat because you know it is good.  I just have to remember not to go overboard and binge eat just because it tastes so good.

Working on this whole will power thing definitely takes practice.  I guess I just have to keep in mind that treats are okay every once in a while, but in moderation.  Moderation.  There's a word that I never fully understood.

Day 2 of Shred

Well I went to work today and when I came home it was beautiful outside.  Now, you might think that I was about to say that I decided to take a nice walk or jog to soak in this lovely fall weather, but no.  Instead I opted to watch Legion while I contemplated my dinner and what I would take to work for lunch.  Dinner was pretty healthy.  I had leftovers from yesterday (courtesy of allrecipes.com) which was a little rice, some garlic and parmesan cauliflower with chicken.  I ended up chopping some veggies and added that to my rice and chicken leftovers so that I could bring that for lunch tomorrow too.  I made sure it was more veggies than anything else (red bell peppers and spinach - I love peppers).  I figured I'd be nice to my co-workers and not eat garlic parmesan cauliflower for lunch, even if I do bring a toothbrush with me to work.

 I did my workout before preparing for bed again and I feel like I am feeling it more today.  When I went to sit down just a few minutes ago my legs were definitely sore from those squats.  So I'm pretty pumped about that:)  Those pushups and squats are harder than I thought.  Also, who'd have thought that jumping jacks and skipping rope would be tiring or am I just that out of shape?  All in all, I'm still struggling with temptation here and there.  I have managed to limit myself to a couple candies or joubjoubs today, but yay to day two without chips.  Tomorrow is another day so I'm gonna go cold turkey!  I also tried an Americano Bold from Starbucks today and it was pretty darn good.  I really needed it at one point today when all I wanted to do was sleep.  If you're wondering how much sugar I put it, I put two splenda packs and used Skim Milk.  So yay to progress on day two:)  I have to drink more water though.  Fortunately I found my water bottle so I can use it tomorrow and in future.   I figure that I might weigh myself on Monday to see how I've done over the past three days.  I just have to remind myself that if I don't see any weight loss it doesn't mean that I haven't made any improvements.    I wonder if it is better to wait a full week before weighing myself though.  I guess I'll see how I feel on Monday, which is Thanksgiving here.  Oh the temptations, but I'm going to be strong.  Turkey has never been a favourite for me anyway.

Day 1 of Shred

So day one is down in the books for me.  I only did the 20 min workout on level one and I must admit that it was tough.  I even broke a sweat.  I also got a reality check when I hopped on the scale and realized that in the past two months I put on 10 lbs.  (insert big sigh here).  It is so easy to start the woe is me rant and why do I do this to myself, but that woe is me rant normally involves a big bag of chips and me making excuses about going to start eating healthy next week.  I said that to myself the second last week in August and I'm pretty sure a few days later I was chomping down on another bag of chips.  But there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.  Just got to suck up the pride and start eating healthy.  No more caramel macchiatos, I guess.  Peppermint tea with one sugar it is.
The biggest challenge for me, I think, will be work.  I'm a shift worker and working those crazy hours and being exhausted results in me drinking coffee.  What is my favourite coffee to drink that I know will help me make it through the early hours?  Starbucks.  What am I going to do tomorrow when I am exhausted out of my mind?  Not sure.  Maybe an Americano?  We shall see.  Any suggestions?  I guess we'll see how tomorrow goes.  I think that I'm going to force myself to do 1/2 hr on the elliptical tomorrow in addition to my Jillian Michaels video.
Otherwise, I did fairly well today.  I did have a small piece of my nephew's pizza today and two candies.  Otherwise I ate fairly healthy.  Tomorrow is another day:)

Measurements

So it begins.

Waist: 34 inches

Hips: 44 inches

chest: 36

thighs: 25.75 inches

Arms: 11 inches

Weight (with jeans etc): 159.4 lbs  (tomorrow I'll weight myself in the morning)

Goal weight: 133lbs
Ideally, I'd love to lose inches off my hips, thighs and waist, but keep my chest.
I've always wanted to be able to wear size 7 pants.  Why?  Because there always seems to be so many of them on the racks and never any of my size.  It'd be nice to able to fit into those size jeans.

My promise to myself is to check in every day no matter how tired I am.  Just for a quick update on what exercise I did for the day and if I ate healthy.  Since I've rediscovered my love for cooking, thanks mostly to allrecipes.com.  I need to find more healthy recipes to test out.  Perhaps tomorrow I will make Butternut Squash soup.  We shall see.  I don't want it to go bad before I use it.  Anyhoo, until tomorrow:)

30 day shred

Okay, so yeah it has been a while, but I've found something new to, hopefully, motivate me.  More than the fact that my face is a lot rounder and my clothes are tighter.  I am going to try Jillian Michaels 30 day shred.  I got the triple pack of dvds from walmart for $20.  It has the Yoga Meltdown, Banish Fat Boost Metabolism (BFBM) and the 30 day shred.  I am going to do the thirty day shred everyday and the Yoga Meltdown and BFBM every other day.  Couple that with going to the gym we shall see how it goes.  I'll take my measurements later today so that we can see my progress.

I'm Back!

So Europe was fabulous!  I did a lot of walking and hiking, but when I came home, I guess I must have felt deprived because I ate almost everything bad in sight.  It wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't lasted about four weeks of me doing that, but it did.  Have I gone to the gym since?  No.  Could I be there right now?  Yes.  Am I going to go there now?  Highly unlikely.  Do I want to go tomorrow?  Yes.  Will I go?  Remains to be seen.  I will make a serious attempt to drag my ass in there.
A few days ago, I finally worked up the courage to hop on the scale.  I had noticed that pants that had become loose while travelling were no longer so loose, but instead were starting to feel tight.  So I finally sucked it up and hopped on the evil scale a few days ago and found myself at 155.6lbs.  My blood pressure is good, not as good as it had been, but good nonetheless.  What is the route of it all?  Emotional eating. Eating feels good during the moment.  It doesn't disappoint.  The flavours and the feel of it, but it rarely ever feels good while I am doing it or afterwards.  Change is needed in my life.  I keep saying it, but so far no action.  Change is possible.  I've just got to get off my ass and make it happen.

Stable

I've been pretty stable this week - no real change. I keep fluctuating between 0.5lbs (up and down). I did work out the three times as was my goal and I have been trying to eat fairly well, but I have indulged in some father's day cake. Perhaps I had a few more slices than I should have. I really need to learn how to say no. Caffeine might also have been a factor. I was working fairly late this past week so I needed plenty of that to stay up late at night. Coffee has only been something that I've only recently started drinking. I find I drink it mostly when I am working late nights or early mornings. The rest of the time I normally stick with peppermint tea. I also need to go back to drinking ginger tea.

The solution for me may be to cut my sugar intake. A few years ago I did that and it worked wonders. I used to add tons of sugar to my cereal, juice and tea. I don't add nearly as much as I did back then, but I think that I can cut back some more and still have them taste good. We'll see how that goes. I'm going on vacation in a few weeks so I probably won't be checking in. We'll see how well I did when I get back. Hopefully all the eating I plan on doing will be balanced out with all the walking I'll be doing.

Creepy does not equal attractive

It is time that some guys come to learn and fully accept this important fact - creepy doesn't equal attractive. All that happens is that you scare women off, especially drunken creepiness. This is why I sincerely believe that, at least for me, clubs are some of the worst places to pick up. People behave differently at clubs than they would elsewhere and sure a guy who is creepy at a club could just be drunk and turn out to be a really nice person, but I'm not going to hang around to find out. Maybe my loss, but I call it self preservation.

I'll find some other avenue for meeting nice guys. I'll have to cast that positive energy off into the universe for me to find them/vice versa and for the planets to align.

Check In

Yesterday, I had the wonderful experience of using a tighter notch on my belt. So things are gradually coming along. I really need to take my measurements. Yesterday, I also went to the gym after work and did mostly strength training. Next trip to the gym will focus more on cardio and floor work I think.

Food wise, I've been using allrecipes.com to make all kinds of delicious recipes. I've been substituting and adding more vegetables to the recipes and they have turned out well. I've also been using the leftovers for my lunch/dinner at work which saves me time. I'm still eating some not so good things once in a while (small bag of fruit snacks or a handful of bits and bites), but now I'm coming to realize that I have to allow myself some of those things otherwise I'm more likely to fail. The nice thing, I think, that I've realized is that when the really bad food tempts me (i.e. Big Mac and Large fries with Mayo and Ketchup or a big bag of chips) I just think of all the hard work that I've done and how it would suck to start all over again (which is essentially what I am doing now after gaining everything I lost last year). Not fun. I've also made a commitment to myself to see if I can go until September before I touch a small bag of chips. Wish me luck!

A day of rest

So far I'm doing fairly well with my desire to go to the gym three times, minimum, a week. I've gone twice for the week and planning on going tomorrow. Yesterday when I went (it was pretty much empty - yay!) I was even adventurous enough to try a new machine. It works your butt and thighs, both of which are my target areas. It was fun and a lot less intimidating than I thought it'd be. For the longest time I was always weary of the weight machines, but now not so much. It is a little awkward when there are a whole bunch of people there and you're trying to figure out how to use the machine properly, but after you figure it out it isn't so bad. I credit two friends of mine with helping me overcome those insecurities enough to try the machines.

Anyway, I'm still a little sore from my workout yesterday, which is good I guess. I decided to try a new routine. Normally I do 1/2 hr of cardio and then try to squeeze in weight machines for the remaining 1/2 hr, but I find I am normally rushed for time and don't get to do what I want to. So this time I flipped it. I mostly spent time on different weight machines, then did 15 min of cardio and a little floor work. They say you need to switch it up, so we'll see.

Trucking along

Check in - this is going to be brief. Heading to the gym tonight after work for sure! I prefer it when it is less crowded (see previous post). I've been eating fairly healthy this week with the exception of one pulled pork sandwich, which was delicious and three ribs. Otherwise it has been mostly vegetables on my plate with a little meat/seafood and rice or pasta. I try to eat the veggies first before the other stuff that way if I get full, at least I cleaned the veggies off my plate. This morning when I weighed myself (heard somewhere best time to weigh yourself is in the morning, before you breakfast - I wonder how true that is though) I had gone down approximately two pounds. Not sure how accurate it is, but slowly dropping, which is the healthy way. Plus, when I went to the doctor to find out how my cholesterol (good and bad), sugar and blood pressure was, she said it was excellent:) I'm very happy about that since heart disease, high blood pressure and cholesterol runs in my family. So yay! Now I just have to keep working on being beach ready in the summer. But let's face it, I don't know when I'll ever be completely comfortable in a swim suit.

Oh Oprah, what will people do when you are off the air?

Pic from zzzack
So I was watching Oprah a few nights ago and it was a rerun about her whole debt diet thing. She brought up the point about how people are swimming in debt and need to get a handle on it. There was one lady in particular who kept shopping and shopping, forged her husband's signature to buy a car and who doesn't open any bills. As a result they are 170k in debt, even though they make 102k together a year. They have a very nice house, very nice cars (all high end), she said she likes to buy designer jeans, but they have had their utilities shut down because of their not paying bills. Quite frankly, I wondered if the only reason they were still together was because of the kids and the fact that it'd be more expensive to separate.

Anyway, it had me thinking about my own spending habits and how I really need to change them. I admit, I often worry about getting a handle on things, so much so that I am considering adding this to my healthy challenge. As with many people my age, that I know, I have the student loan and car payments which are the bulk of them, but there's also the credit cards and a few other traditional bills to pay. Sometimes I must admit that it can get pretty overwhelming when you're trying to put away for retirement, savings and still have a little extra for entertainment. Which often makes me wonder, how on earth do single people afford homes, especially in this economy?

I've asked several friends and colleagues this question over the past several months and the ridiculously high housing prices have also popped up in conversation from other people as well. From those of us who are considering buying, especially those of us who are single, the prices are just ridiculous if you want to live near the city or even in the suburbs. In order to buy a house/condo in a decent neighbourhood you're lucky if you get mid $200,000s. Mid $200,000s are rare in my area now. They recently said that the average price of a home in Ontario (Canada) is mid $300,000s. Not surprised - all I have to do is look in the paper and see all the new homes that are being built and see the starting prices at $294,000 (for a townhouse that is maybe 1400 sqft)! While many other places in the world saw a housing crisis, we up here in the Great White North didn't really see a drop, thanks to our banks/big time government regulation. While it is nice to know that our banks and economy did fairly well compared to other countries, the price of homes is ridiculous and in my opinion needs to come down and be a little more realistic - especially since people's salaries haven't gone up as much as house prices have. It really needs to balance out.

Anyway, I was just thinking that I couldn't imagine paying a mortgage, paying back my student loan, paying off my car, property tax, utilities, gas, food, etc and being able to sleep well at night with house prices the way they are. I already kind of stress over the fact that I am not where I'd like to be financially and how I need to make some real changes, I just can't imagine being house poor (working just to make mortgage payments and not having much left after that) on top of that. I guess you could always, if lady luck is on your side, win the lottery.

Seriously though, how do people do it? I guess most have two incomes. How do single people do it with those kind of prices? This is why I keep teetering towards renting, but everyone keeps saying how you're essentially throwing your money down the drain by paying someone else's mortgage. I see their point, but who wants to be paying their mortgage until they are in their 70s anyway? I guess most people don't go into it signing up for 40 year mortgages. 20 years seems bad enough.

Side note: just after posting this I had an "aha moment" (yes, I'm using that cheesy Oprah line which I cringe whenever I hear celebs and other people use). One of the reasons why I eat/binge (especially with food) is because it is a nice way to escape money and life problems. Life problems as in general boredom and dissatisfaction of the way my life has been for the past few years (i.e. not happy with job, social life, spending habits/debt, physical appearance). It is so much easier to eat because, like Toni Collette's character said in the movie In Her Shoes (but referring to shoes) shoes don't disappoint you in the sense that unlike dress sizes, shoe sizes rarely change which made her feel good. It made more sense in my head for as to how that relates. The point I'm trying to make is that, food can be comforting to eat during the moment. It's a means of escape. Essentially, I know how good a bag of chips tastes while I'm eating it.

It provides me with a moment of bliss.

There's no disappointment.

It's an escape from reality...

That is until the bag is finished and I've realized that I've just inhaled a whole big bag of chips...again.

SATC 2, alone time and "pretty" people only gyms

I saw the new Sex and the City movie. I liked it. It wasn't the best movie, but I was satisfied with it. It probably helps that I had zero expectations. This coming from someone who watched the show from the very beginning, before all the hype. Don't get me wrong, I loved that show, but it isn't the same Sex and the City. I still love it though.

Speaking of HBO, True Blood comes back in 9 days! So excited! Oh HBO, you've brought us such wonderful shows - Sex and the City, Six Feet Under, Hung, True Blood etc. Thank goodness for PVRs!

There was one thing the movie made me think about. Me time. Now, I have said that when I'm not at work I prefer to read, watch tv, go to a bookstore and sip my favourite drink, so it makes it seem like I have plenty of me time and yes, compared to some people (especially moms) I do, but what I lack is alone time. 99.9% of the time there is someone home. It would be nice to come home one or two days of the week and have the house to myself for a few hours. At times I cherish the time it takes me to get home from work because I know that is the only alone time I will get for the day. Sometimes on my days off, even when I don't feel like going out, I force myself to go out so that I can get some breathing room. In a year or so that should all change. But until then I guess I'll have to keep doing what I am doing - otherwise it doesn't make for a very happy camper (little things are more apt to bother me). I guess the gym will become one of my new refuges, even though there are other people around.

Speaking of gyms - confession: One of the reasons I hated going to the gym was because it felt like a fashion show/meat market, especially during university. It doesn't make for a very comfortable atmosphere when all you want to do is wear your most comfortable (and in my case, least flattering) sweats and sweat your heart out.

There is this one gym that is pretty popular among some of my friends and one day I went to drop something off there with a friend. After finishing up with my friend one of the sales managers tried to steal me away from my current gym. I explained that I felt that their gym had too many "pretty" people. The sales manager laughed when I said that. I told him that his gym seems more like a place where people go to be seen. Sure there are a lot of people who go there to work out, but very few of them are wearing oversized sweats and baggy pants. Instead all I ever see are lululemon workout/yoga gear and men who look like they are either trying to be body builders or on the next season of Jersey Shore. A tad harsh? Perhaps, but honestly I need to feel comfortable to go there otherwise it is just a big waste of money. I guess I shouldn't judge, but I'd been there and done that in university. That kind of gym wasn't fun. I guess when you're confident and done dealing with your insecurities you don't worry about such things as too many "pretty" people at your gym or the fact that it is open season on the meat market.

Excuses, excuses, excuses!

Pic from visualpanic

So last week I said that I was going to try to go to the gym, but I failed miserably. Sure I went at the beginning of the week, Sunday and Monday, but I didn't manage to drag myself there any of the other days of the week. I did go for a walk by the lake with a friend and chilled out outside while enjoying all the sunshine and hot weather that we got, but I didn't really do any real exercise or weight training. Why?

A mixture of laziness and exhaustion. I tried setting my alarm for earlier than I had to wake up to go to work, but I just turned it off and went

back to sleep because I was still tired. I think the first day I left my gym bag at home and when I got home I didn't feel like leaving the house. The next day I went out with a friend instead of going to workout and did the same the following evening. The following two days, I just admitted to myself that it wasn't going to happen and fell asleep on the couch soon after I came home. So that's the truth. I still ate fairly well - with the exception of a couple slices of pizza, two caramel macchiatos and some sweet chili rice cake snacks (the last of which I had today after going to grocery shopping when I should have been eating lunch). That and my lack of sufficient exercise might explain the fact that I didn't really make any real headway this past week, but I did maintain and I must say that I did enjoy myself.

Pic from neloqua

I love sunshine and I love spending time with a good friend. So that is something.

Goals for the month of June:

1. Go outside and enjoy more walks/runs outside (ideally by the lake) instead of just indoors at the gym.
2. Find some great healthy and delicious easy to make recipes that I can add to my menu. I'd started getting kind of bored with my present menu (some healthy, but tasty snacks would be nice). Suggestions/recommendations are always welcome:)
3. Make it to the gym three times a week, no matter what shift I am working.

pants that no longer fit...for now;)

I'm sure that everyone has a mental list of things that make them depressed. Maybe we don't all itemize them, but somewhere in our mind we know the things that can instantly make you down. One of mine is definitely the sad and shocked - sometimes not so surprised - feeling you get when you try on a pair of pants that used to fit a few months ago.

Pic by Abby Lanes

Today, since it is so freaking hot and humid I decided to try on a pair of jean capris that fit well seven months ago. Looking back, November, when I say it to myself, doesn't sound too long ago, but when I count out the months it seems like a long time. Note my rationalization for as to why it may be acceptable for those pants to no longer fit and how I tell myself, "oh yeah, that was ages ago! No wonder they don't fit! It might as well have been seven years ago!", whatever. Anyway, back to my train of thought. So I tried them on, and although I managed to squeeze them on, I had to suck it in just a little to button them up. Unfortunately they had the dreaded tight feeling around the thighs. Grrr damn thighs! While I attempted to tell myself that they were freshly washed and jeans are always kind of stiff after they've been washed, I eventually accepted the fact that all of my previous months of hard work at the gym were wasted when I stopped eating and living healthy. I guess all those McD's, pizzas and other late night fast food runs had caught up with me. I knew they had, but the clothes that I had been wearing in the mean time have my much loved stretch material in them. Gotta love how stretch material lets you live an illusion for as long as the stretch can take you.

So what am I going to do?

Well continue going to the gym - something I've only recently started to do again. Eat healthy, but attempt not to deprive myself while also trying not to binge (so hard).

What is my goal?

Lose inches off hips and thighs (keep some booty). I guess I should measure myself at some point (next post I swear). But since, I also track some of my progress by hopping on the scale, if I am being truthful with myself I would like to lose around 20 lbs. Almost everyone has a magic number in their head. Mine is between 133 - 135lbs.

My starting weight: 155 lbs.

My current weight is 153lbs.

Body type: Pear shape.

Pic by S Baker

It would be nice to be able to buy a dress that fits my top and bottom, instead of gaping open where my breasts are supposed to be.

So although those pants - and sadly many others - in my closet don't fit right now, I will get back in them. I am determined.

Pic by pixelposition

Also need to work on social life. Weight loss alone won't make me happy. It is so easy to blame an irregular work schedule for a lack of a real social life. I've gotta work on that aspect. How? I'm not really sure yet...suggestions?