pants that no longer fit...for now;)

I'm sure that everyone has a mental list of things that make them depressed. Maybe we don't all itemize them, but somewhere in our mind we know the things that can instantly make you down. One of mine is definitely the sad and shocked - sometimes not so surprised - feeling you get when you try on a pair of pants that used to fit a few months ago.

Pic by Abby Lanes

Today, since it is so freaking hot and humid I decided to try on a pair of jean capris that fit well seven months ago. Looking back, November, when I say it to myself, doesn't sound too long ago, but when I count out the months it seems like a long time. Note my rationalization for as to why it may be acceptable for those pants to no longer fit and how I tell myself, "oh yeah, that was ages ago! No wonder they don't fit! It might as well have been seven years ago!", whatever. Anyway, back to my train of thought. So I tried them on, and although I managed to squeeze them on, I had to suck it in just a little to button them up. Unfortunately they had the dreaded tight feeling around the thighs. Grrr damn thighs! While I attempted to tell myself that they were freshly washed and jeans are always kind of stiff after they've been washed, I eventually accepted the fact that all of my previous months of hard work at the gym were wasted when I stopped eating and living healthy. I guess all those McD's, pizzas and other late night fast food runs had caught up with me. I knew they had, but the clothes that I had been wearing in the mean time have my much loved stretch material in them. Gotta love how stretch material lets you live an illusion for as long as the stretch can take you.

So what am I going to do?

Well continue going to the gym - something I've only recently started to do again. Eat healthy, but attempt not to deprive myself while also trying not to binge (so hard).

What is my goal?

Lose inches off hips and thighs (keep some booty). I guess I should measure myself at some point (next post I swear). But since, I also track some of my progress by hopping on the scale, if I am being truthful with myself I would like to lose around 20 lbs. Almost everyone has a magic number in their head. Mine is between 133 - 135lbs.

My starting weight: 155 lbs.

My current weight is 153lbs.

Body type: Pear shape.

Pic by S Baker

It would be nice to be able to buy a dress that fits my top and bottom, instead of gaping open where my breasts are supposed to be.

So although those pants - and sadly many others - in my closet don't fit right now, I will get back in them. I am determined.

Pic by pixelposition

Also need to work on social life. Weight loss alone won't make me happy. It is so easy to blame an irregular work schedule for a lack of a real social life. I've gotta work on that aspect. How? I'm not really sure yet...suggestions?

Happy May 2-4 Weekend!

Can you say hot?! Hot and humid. That is how I would describe the weather this long weekend and over the next few days. Makes me wish I had a pool so I could do this....

Pic from notsogoodphotography

But I am not complaining, this is exactly what I had wished for this summer. Granted, it isn't summer yet, technically it is still spring, but whatever May 2-4 weekend is the unofficial start to summer over here.

Anyhoo, so yesterday I went to a BBQ and I have to say it went pretty well in terms of my resisting bad foods. I managed to steer clear of the not so good stuff, by filling my plate with a lot of veggies.

Pic from thebittenword

I'm not going to act like I didn't eat any bbq chicken, pork, rice or pasta, because I did. What I didn't do was fill my plate full of that. Instead I had what I would like to call a taste of the food. It was delicious! I can't deprive myself but I was trying not to over indulge. I even managed to squeeze in an hour at the gym. I did 15 min on the treadmill, 15 on the elliptical (both of which I did interval training on) then 1/2 hour on the weight machines - mostly working my legs.

Today, I can't say that I was as good on the eating front. I decided to treat myself to three - I was going to say a couple, but I'm trying to be honest - pieces of pizza with garlic dip, which is divine. I did however have a healthy breakfast and I also squeezed in another 1 hour at the gym. This time I did the cross ramp thing, for 15 mins, where it is like you are climbing a hill/mountain, 15 mins on the elliptical and used the weight machines for the remaining time. I need to reincorporate floor exercises again. I find that I say I'm going to do it at home, but then I make an excuse: I'm too tired, I should clean my room first, where's my exercise ball? on and on....sound familiar?

Pic from Perfecto Insecto

I plan on heading back to the gym either tomorrow or Wednesday. I am starting to understand how going to the gym can become addictive. While, I don't get the high, it is a nice way to spend time out of the house as opposed to at my favourite bookstore and coffee shop. For some reason I can never go there and not get some kind of drink, and with the weather the way it is a nice cup of caramel ice coffee tends to have its appeal. Oh restraint - how tricky it is to have sometimes.

"Pain is temporary, quitting lasts forever"

So the past few days I've been doing a fairly good job with regards to my healthy lifestyle plan. Yeah, that's right, I called it a healthy lifestyle, not a diet or eating, because I want to be more healthy overall.

Okay, pause---- I have to comment on the fact that in so many of the magazines (i.e. OK, people etc) a lot of stars - Kardashians, yeah, I'm referring to those ladies who are known for what again? Anyway, not important, the point is that a lot of famous people who have graced the

Pic by D Sharon Pruitt

magazine covers with headlines like "How she lost 10/20/30lbs" seem to refer what they did as a being healthy. For example, Courtney (?) - I'm not sure if it is her or not, but the one who married the basketball player and got the ridiculously good pre-nup. Yeah, so she kept referring to her weight loss - as wanting to get healthy. It is nice to hear them refer to it as that, but at the same time, I can't help but wonder about what it implies. Okay, you know what? I'm not going to go there. I was going to say how, just because you're not a size 2 or 4 or 6 doesn't mean that you're not healthy, but I'm sure she didn't mean it that way. The unfortunate thing is that there are probably some teenagers out there who will look at that and think, I'm not healthy because I'm a size 10 or 12 , when they are. But whatever, I'll leave it alone and stop this rant.

Pic by Ernst Moeksis

Aaaannnnyhooo, as for my healthy eating plan ;) I've been eating much better foods - adding vegetables to my meals, trying to cut back on the crap. Making my lunch as opposed to buying a poutine (that's fries, with cheese and gravy poured on top -->divine) or a slice of pizza. I've also gone back to eating bran flakes or oatmeal (cinnamon flavoured - sorry can't stand the plain stuff) for breakfast. I think that I'll have to add yogurt to it as well - so yummy. The only real difficult thing is the fact that when my shift changes next week it'll be a little harder for me to have a proper breakfast. I guess I just have to make more of an effort to ensure that I still eat healthy. We shall see. Otherwise I've been going to the gym after work every other day - tomorrow will be a bit of a challenge, since it'll be closed by the time I get home. Still trying to think of what I will plan to do - maybe some floor exercises. But yeah, I've been going straight from work, which is a miracle seeing as I am always so tired when I come from work and normally want to do absolutely nothing except for veg and watch the shows that I taped for the day. The one really nice thing about going at that time of night is that it tends to be pretty empty (i.e. no teenagers posing and taking up valuable space on mats and giggling with each other - yeah, that's right I'm calling them out - I'll talk about that one another day). So you can get into a nice rhythm. So I'm pretty proud of myself there. I just have to keep it up. As one of my favourite workout tracks says - the Lance Armstrong Run Longer mix says "Pain is temporary, quitting lasts forever"

Think it, believe it, do it and you'll make it happen.

Time to be honest with myself - well somewhat....gotta start somewhere, right?

Who am I?

Twenty something year old fem who spends most of her days off doing one or more of the follow: reading (recently bit the bullet and decided to try paranormal romance novels - they are quite good, I now wholeheartedly admit), cruising through the local bookstore while sipping on some kind of Starbucks concoction, watching tv, sleeping, surfing the net and on the odd occasion chilling with my friends.

Why blog?

Need an outlet - be it to let out some frustrations, random thoughts, inspire me to continue on whatever quest I am on.

Some of you, if there is anyone actually reading this out there, might be wondering what the hell is wrong with her that the above activities is how she spends most of her free time. I can make many excuses from the evils of shift work (yeah, I'm part of that club), to always being tired, to just wanting alone time etc. Honestly, I have my theories, but I'm not 100% sure what it is. What I do know is that I'm not happy with it or how things are in my life right now. While I know I want to change the situation, that old saying about old habits dying hard rings in my head. This kind of makes me want to watch The Secret again. Yeah, I saw it and I found it inspirational and did it for a while. It did help, but I kind of fell off that wagon. I seem to have a problem when it comes to being thrown off a schedule. When I am thrown off the schedule I find it hard to get back on. No clue why.

I guess I'll get to the point. Last year around this time of year I confronted my chip addiction. I managed to go several months without eating more than a couple handfuls of chips. That is an achievement for me, who can consume one bag by myself quiet easily. Around that same time, I decided to get healthy, by actually going to the gym regularly (twice a week) and I saw good results. That all stopped around December of last year when I went on vacation - a real and a healthy eating vacation. I kept telling myself that I'd start after New Years because I hate going to the gym when so many people are there. Then I made other excuses about the weather, being too tired to go to the gym etc. Now we're in May and over the past month I've only gone to the gym two, maybe three times, despite having written down gym classes that fit well with my schedule in my monthly planner. So this is it. Time to change. Time to get healthy and actually follow through. I need to be accountable. So I'm going to try the Healthy You Challenge and hopefully it will be what I need to get and stay motivated.

Time to stop making excuses....I make a lot of excuses, be it about the gym, joining clubs and actually attending things, to eating right. Time to stop now. Think it, believe it, do it and you'll make it happen.....right?

~Campaspe~